I don't need you. I choose you.

I don't need you. I choose you.

This is a sentence I never imagined my mind would be able to compute in this lifetime.

By nature, I am heart, raw emotion and gut instinct. None of these aspects make for a very good decision-maker. And they aren't helpful contributors when it comes to 'choice' which is perhaps why I've never been overly good at making them... choices that is.

I was always the 'needy' girl. The girl who 'without you I won't be able to breathe' which of course to me sounded like the ultimate display of affection and love... and an all-time classic romantic declaration.

Life can't be a fairytale forever though... and this is an idea that shattered me for many years as I evolved from a dramatic 'I wear my heart on my sleeve' teenager into a *gulp* independent and determined adult.

Don't get me wrong, I STILL wear my heart on my sleeve, but these days I realise the extent of the consequences my 'heart-on-sleeve' wearing actions are capable of causing.

That being said... without knowing the raw intensity of a I-need-to-feel-your-heartbeat-against-my-chest-to-survive passion and love, I would not be the person I am today.

As we get older, it's not as easy or fair to act out of instinct. It is not as appropriate to say what is in your heart, or act on your stomach's guidance in the same way you once would have.

It is no longer 'I need you' but 'I choose you' and if I'm honest, I am still in the process of accepting this concept.... because man do I miss 'I need you'.

I've had 'I need you' in my life and the depth of that passion is never-ending. And as I discovered very early on in life... it is better to have loved (truly loved) and lost than to have never loved at all.

I feel it's the same with the 'need' vs the 'choice'. Without ever knowing the 'need' it would be impossible to really learn to 'choose'.

Thank you for letting me 'need' to breath that love. It taught me everything I know.