At 16… are you really ready for a relationship of such intensity? When I was 16, I believed whole-heartedly yes, it was possible – more than possible – in fact, I’d go as far as to say I thought it was “normal” to be passionately and irrationally in love at this age.
Then again, what is normal anyway? It’s something which at 16 I certainly wouldn’t have had an answer to - even if I’d have told you I did - and surprisingly enough, or perhaps not so… at 23, I still don’t have an answer to, so perhaps we’ll save that thought to ponder on a rainy day.
The thing is though, in so many TV shows, movies and sometimes even in real life you will hear adults tell these 16 year old youths that they couldn’t possibly understand what love is – let alone be in, or maintain a relationship with the level of maturity required to actually LOVE someone.
There are parts of this statement, which at only nearly 24… parts of me, sadly, already agree with. How could a person of the innocent and tender age of 16 possibly understand what is expected from a relationship and feel or know how to identify the presence of love?
Then I remember what I was like at 16 and realise perhaps I am getting old and becoming shallow. Could it not be as we gain the “maturity and wisdom” of age, we lose the purity and truth of youth with its unlimited hope led by heart not mind?
And I can’t help but think perhaps it is not love that we learn to find but that it is that kind of intense love we wind up forgetting - because maybe it’s just easier to. Heartache seems immature to dwell on in the adult world – so why risk it when sensibility is a possible and highly recommended option?
Love is around and always will be in so many different forms and that seems to be - as we grow older - what we take comfort in and what we pride ourselves on knowing we have; the love of our families, our children, our friends and even our pets. While we go to bed every night forgetting entirely the feeling of a first kiss or the potent sense of a first love.
As we get older, there are more responsibilities both in our own lives and in the lives of our partners and our perspectives change along with those responsibilities.
We grow up, buy houses, get married and eventually have children. The question is then no longer “Do you want to stay at my house on the weekend or shall I stay at yours?” or “Lets go to the movies and kiss in the love-seats” but “Will you take (insert first child’s name here) to ballet class on Saturday morning while I do the groceries?” “How will we pay for that? On credit or with cash?” “Shall we get a swimming pool installed?” “I’d really like to build a garage” and lets face it… regardless of the love that exists between these couples at these moments… it’s no longer the love we felt at 16 when the world was an uncomplicated place and our lives were completely carefree.
It has since become a different sense and meaning of the word LOVE.
We become practical, perhaps not because it is what we desire but because it is expected of us and along with our new found practicality and maturity comes what in our opinion is the right to tell our children that what they’re feeling at 16 couldn’t possibly be real love.
But are we in fact the ones who are completely wrong?
TBC…
Friday, September 25, 2009
Your Last Message
Your last message
Was the best I’d had in years
And then as quickly as you’d come
You’d vanished again
And were gone from my life
In the way you had been before
Gone…
And years worth of misunderstandings
Never able to be made clear
Left…
Just a failed prospect
Of ever opening the door
And a wilted picture
Left hanging on the wall
With a future that points us
In the direction of the fog
So we’ll stay this way forever
Just...
Two kids unable to get themselves together
Was the best I’d had in years
And then as quickly as you’d come
You’d vanished again
And were gone from my life
In the way you had been before
Gone…
And years worth of misunderstandings
Never able to be made clear
Left…
Just a failed prospect
Of ever opening the door
And a wilted picture
Left hanging on the wall
With a future that points us
In the direction of the fog
So we’ll stay this way forever
Just...
Two kids unable to get themselves together
The Stumbling Fool
LOVE STRUCK
STUMBLNG FOOLS
PUPPY LOVE
IMMEDIATE INFATUATION
YOUNG HEARTS
POUNDING CHESTS
NERVOUS STANCE
BUTTERFLY STOMACH
DEEPLY INHALED BREATH
OUT WITH A SIGH
UNSTEADY FOOTING
HEART HANGING
ON A ONE TIME LOVE
THAT IS DOWN TO AN ART
STUMBLNG FOOLS
PUPPY LOVE
IMMEDIATE INFATUATION
YOUNG HEARTS
POUNDING CHESTS
NERVOUS STANCE
BUTTERFLY STOMACH
DEEPLY INHALED BREATH
OUT WITH A SIGH
UNSTEADY FOOTING
HEART HANGING
ON A ONE TIME LOVE
THAT IS DOWN TO AN ART
Un-expectation
Never been a fan of expectation.
When you expect things, there’s more chance of winding up disappointed
Because expectations are so often just fantasies
Moments you create in your own mind to soothe nerves
Or to mentally prepare yourself for what may be
Just about to happen -
Danger!
Not because you may be unable to stick to the plan
But because the event you’ve envisioned may be 100% false
Completely misinterpreted in your own head
And expectations cause mixed reactions
Too mixed to be made sense of
Young and intimidatingly unsure
Feet all confused – ready to stumble
But never at the right time
Whoops!
Straight into the arms of the unexpected.
When you expect things, there’s more chance of winding up disappointed
Because expectations are so often just fantasies
Moments you create in your own mind to soothe nerves
Or to mentally prepare yourself for what may be
Just about to happen -
Danger!
Not because you may be unable to stick to the plan
But because the event you’ve envisioned may be 100% false
Completely misinterpreted in your own head
And expectations cause mixed reactions
Too mixed to be made sense of
Young and intimidatingly unsure
Feet all confused – ready to stumble
But never at the right time
Whoops!
Straight into the arms of the unexpected.
The Double Doors
The wood is hard
On the double door
And I mean literally
Pressed up against it
Amongst other things
Despite its cold and withered paint
A spot of warmth is found
Trust me, I would know
I was there, as were others
On far too many occasions
Between the double doors
It was naughty
With a thrill to it all
A tingle on her neck
And sweet air from his lips
Bad behaviour
With an extra kick
Whispers of nothing
The promises she’d wished
Keeping it quiet
In the small dark hall
Between the double doors
A sense of presence
The look of dare
Naughty boy appears
Form his naughty box upstairs
With silent lingering
And a touch of the same
He’s naughty to nice
Leading the way
Her hand in his hand
Off to their secret place
Between the double doors
Sly one could say
Perhaps even cheeky
And knowing it well
She continues discreetly
She is not the first
Nor will she be the last
He will never be tamed
It’s part of his charm
So she takes a deep breath
Puts her feelings to the side
And goes to kiss the rain…
With the naughty boy she had found…
Between the double doors
On the double door
And I mean literally
Pressed up against it
Amongst other things
Despite its cold and withered paint
A spot of warmth is found
Trust me, I would know
I was there, as were others
On far too many occasions
Between the double doors
It was naughty
With a thrill to it all
A tingle on her neck
And sweet air from his lips
Bad behaviour
With an extra kick
Whispers of nothing
The promises she’d wished
Keeping it quiet
In the small dark hall
Between the double doors
A sense of presence
The look of dare
Naughty boy appears
Form his naughty box upstairs
With silent lingering
And a touch of the same
He’s naughty to nice
Leading the way
Her hand in his hand
Off to their secret place
Between the double doors
Sly one could say
Perhaps even cheeky
And knowing it well
She continues discreetly
She is not the first
Nor will she be the last
He will never be tamed
It’s part of his charm
So she takes a deep breath
Puts her feelings to the side
And goes to kiss the rain…
With the naughty boy she had found…
Between the double doors
Time Travel
Sometimes life escapes us
Even if only for the shortest amount of time
And a thousand tiny images
Dart frantically before our eyes
Like the lively happenings
And brightly lit lights
Of the bustling busy city
When time travels at this speed
We are unable to breathe in
The true scent of life
And what was intended for us
Take a moment of still
Even though the world outside
Is harsh and wont stop to take you in
We will all feel better in the morning
If we just breathe
Even if only for the shortest amount of time
And a thousand tiny images
Dart frantically before our eyes
Like the lively happenings
And brightly lit lights
Of the bustling busy city
When time travels at this speed
We are unable to breathe in
The true scent of life
And what was intended for us
Take a moment of still
Even though the world outside
Is harsh and wont stop to take you in
We will all feel better in the morning
If we just breathe
Friday, September 18, 2009
Don't Know?
I didn’t think you’d be everything I would ever need. Nor did I think that the look in your eye would amount to anything at all. The pulsing within my chest is something I was sure I had fabricated in my own mind and the feeling in the air when we were together is something I became very good at ignoring. Then again, perhaps it wasn’t so much ignoring as it was keeping quiet or accepting the situation as it was.
And the situation as it was, was that we could never be. For many reasons that made perfect sense and for many of the same reasons that didn’t.
All the time we had spent in that dark room, sitting opposite one another discussing our lives and confessing our truths is a time I could never forget. Much like the look in your eyes, which is until this day, etched into my brain. The intensity and passion behind that look summed up everything for me and I would have been lying if I said I didn’t think you saw it in me too.
I was not an innocent part in this play we had written for ourselves, nor did I relish in knowing the trouble it could very well cause, should we place even one toe wrong. Yet without force or effort at all, the words continued to flow, regardless of the learnt and deeply imbedded better judgement.
The innocence and purity of us was like a soothing waterfall… constant and strong. And we found a way, despite the differences and all the outside challenges, to remain covered in the infinite waters flowing around us.
If only it had been so easy to dive beneath the surface and live forever in the depth we had found.
We both knew however that it was not something that would ever go anywhere or lead to anything more and that’s what made it all that much harder and perhaps all the more intense. We both knew the calm and serenity we had created to cushion ourselves would not be that way forever. Though I don’t suppose we expected the tides to turn as aggressively as they did or that the clouds would bring with them such an angry kind of rain.
I lost you somewhere… deep in the water during the storm and my heart ached for you everyday after that. Although I am sure the absence of us from your life was as difficult for you as it was for me… time finds a way to bury itself deep in the walls of everything – our existence included. With an armful of this ‘time’ and a heartful of patience, I guess the perfection in anything can be slowly removed and the picture of perfection can fade quicker than had ever been wished.
As I stretched out my arms out strong in the direction of you, my heart skipped a beat as I realised you were no longer there - the waters had taken you – this time, too far to ever go back...
TBC...
And the situation as it was, was that we could never be. For many reasons that made perfect sense and for many of the same reasons that didn’t.
All the time we had spent in that dark room, sitting opposite one another discussing our lives and confessing our truths is a time I could never forget. Much like the look in your eyes, which is until this day, etched into my brain. The intensity and passion behind that look summed up everything for me and I would have been lying if I said I didn’t think you saw it in me too.
I was not an innocent part in this play we had written for ourselves, nor did I relish in knowing the trouble it could very well cause, should we place even one toe wrong. Yet without force or effort at all, the words continued to flow, regardless of the learnt and deeply imbedded better judgement.
The innocence and purity of us was like a soothing waterfall… constant and strong. And we found a way, despite the differences and all the outside challenges, to remain covered in the infinite waters flowing around us.
If only it had been so easy to dive beneath the surface and live forever in the depth we had found.
We both knew however that it was not something that would ever go anywhere or lead to anything more and that’s what made it all that much harder and perhaps all the more intense. We both knew the calm and serenity we had created to cushion ourselves would not be that way forever. Though I don’t suppose we expected the tides to turn as aggressively as they did or that the clouds would bring with them such an angry kind of rain.
I lost you somewhere… deep in the water during the storm and my heart ached for you everyday after that. Although I am sure the absence of us from your life was as difficult for you as it was for me… time finds a way to bury itself deep in the walls of everything – our existence included. With an armful of this ‘time’ and a heartful of patience, I guess the perfection in anything can be slowly removed and the picture of perfection can fade quicker than had ever been wished.
As I stretched out my arms out strong in the direction of you, my heart skipped a beat as I realised you were no longer there - the waters had taken you – this time, too far to ever go back...
TBC...
Have The Guts
In my next life…
Maybe I’ll have guts;
Guts to do the things I can’t in this one
The guts to be the person I had hoped for myself
Without a stomach full of regret
And this is not me giving up
This is me accepting
Accepting that life is going forward
But my dreams continue to drag on the ground
Far behind where my feet are presently planted
Acceptance is important
Without it we would only know how to grieve
Grieve for the unfulfilled dreams
And lifeless hope
We lost somewhere along the way
During this life long journey
Forever wanting and craving
The chance to be bigger
And better than the day before
But accepting makes it somehow okay
That today is just today
Although our connection to it has been lost
And our paths mislead
We realise a part of us is missing
But find the strength to carry on
Trudging forward like soldiers
Directly through the mud
With heart and the guts to fight
And when the last breath is taken
If the battle has not been won
I will lie still upon the ground
And know that in the next life
I will have the guts…
The guts to do it right
Maybe I’ll have guts;
Guts to do the things I can’t in this one
The guts to be the person I had hoped for myself
Without a stomach full of regret
And this is not me giving up
This is me accepting
Accepting that life is going forward
But my dreams continue to drag on the ground
Far behind where my feet are presently planted
Acceptance is important
Without it we would only know how to grieve
Grieve for the unfulfilled dreams
And lifeless hope
We lost somewhere along the way
During this life long journey
Forever wanting and craving
The chance to be bigger
And better than the day before
But accepting makes it somehow okay
That today is just today
Although our connection to it has been lost
And our paths mislead
We realise a part of us is missing
But find the strength to carry on
Trudging forward like soldiers
Directly through the mud
With heart and the guts to fight
And when the last breath is taken
If the battle has not been won
I will lie still upon the ground
And know that in the next life
I will have the guts…
The guts to do it right
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Time To Let Go
Why weren't you waiting?
Why weren't you waiting there for me?
You never told me
You never told me where you'd be
I look around this empty space
Holding in my heart
Thoughts I must now erase
Run into my arms
And make this not so real
Without your love
I don't know how to feel
When a heart stops loving
It's time to let go
When your hands stop shaking
It's the only way to know
It's time to let go
Oh it's time to let go
Why
Is all that echoes in my head
What is there anymore
When all that was left
Is now dead
My heart can't beat without your love
To pick me up
And hold me high above
But when a heart stops loving
It's time to let go
And when your hands stop shaking
That is how you know
It's time to let go
Oh it's time to let go
It's too late, now it's too late
It's too late, to take back all that's been done
I'm too late, you're too late
We're too late, to turn us back into one
And when your heart stops loving
It's time to let go
When your hands stop shaking
It's the only way to know
It's time to let go
Oh it's time to let go
Please let me go
My hands have stopped shaking
And this is how I know
That it's time to let go
Why weren't you waiting there for me?
You never told me
You never told me where you'd be
I look around this empty space
Holding in my heart
Thoughts I must now erase
Run into my arms
And make this not so real
Without your love
I don't know how to feel
When a heart stops loving
It's time to let go
When your hands stop shaking
It's the only way to know
It's time to let go
Oh it's time to let go
Why
Is all that echoes in my head
What is there anymore
When all that was left
Is now dead
My heart can't beat without your love
To pick me up
And hold me high above
But when a heart stops loving
It's time to let go
And when your hands stop shaking
That is how you know
It's time to let go
Oh it's time to let go
It's too late, now it's too late
It's too late, to take back all that's been done
I'm too late, you're too late
We're too late, to turn us back into one
And when your heart stops loving
It's time to let go
When your hands stop shaking
It's the only way to know
It's time to let go
Oh it's time to let go
Please let me go
My hands have stopped shaking
And this is how I know
That it's time to let go
I Like You
I thought of you today
As I gazed out my kitchen window
I like my kitchen window
And come to think of it
I like you too
Now I don't need my kitchen window though
To remind me of you
I think of you everyday
And when I'm thinking...
I'm wondering...
If you like me too?
As I gazed out my kitchen window
I like my kitchen window
And come to think of it
I like you too
Now I don't need my kitchen window though
To remind me of you
I think of you everyday
And when I'm thinking...
I'm wondering...
If you like me too?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
If you love someone…
... do it properly…
And mean it… with your heart wide open.
Know… that if you have the balls to admit or say out loud… those three small words that can mean so much in this life, you better be ready to deal with exactly what they mean.
Love is not a topic that should be taken lightly and a heart is not a chew toy for the prowling dog. When will this lesson be learnt, once and for all… and without fail?
There are no excuses anymore for why people hurt others. We know better and yet still, the same mistakes are being made, day in and day out.
Love is not as complex as the mind may have us believe… and nor is the heart or its workings. Its simplicity is beautiful, should you stop long enough to really listen to the beating inside a chest or the sparkle from within the eyes. Love is art at its finest and most pure.
If you think you might love someone, do your best to make sure it’s for real and take some time remember what loving someone means…
If you love someone, don’t lie about it… true love discovers all in the end.
If you love someone, always tell the truth… it gives love the chance to stay pure.
If you love someone, please don’t hurt them... it’s never worth it in the end.
If you love someone and you do hurt them… don’t do it again… and if you do, the chances are you don’t really love them after all.
If you love someone, say it out loud… honesty really is the best policy.
If you love someone, don’t play the games you think you’re so cool for playing… games are only fun as long as you have players but a game always ends with just one… and being alone isn’t as cool as it might seem today.
If you love someone, find a way to show it everyday… because one day they may be taken from you without warning.
If you love someone, don’t give in to temptation… what is tempting for you, is torture for the one you love.
If you love someone, think of that person and not only of yourself… the choices you make aren’t only affecting you.
And if you don’t love someone… that same someone you did once love… you’re not the only person this has happened to. - What comes next is sad and painful but has been done a thousand times before… and everyone will be okay with time.
If you have loved someone deeply in the past, and feel a deep love for them still to this day, remember it and know it happened for a reason… we wouldn’t be who we are without our great loves.
Love is a pure and white canvas that should be well kept. When you love and exchange those pretty little words, you’re giving each other a paintbrush with full access to the soul and the chance to make art direct from a beating heart.
The day you find yourself yearning to paint on another’s wall is the day you’ve scribbled your first graffiti on the canvas that lay there first.
Put down the brush and give someone else the chance to paint it white again, because there will always be another artist waiting in the wings for their chance to dream big and love even bigger.
If you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go… and this is to keep the love fair.
Love should never be selfish… and if it is, then it isn’t really love.
And in the end, if you still choose to love… then please… at least do it properly.
And mean it… with your heart wide open.
Know… that if you have the balls to admit or say out loud… those three small words that can mean so much in this life, you better be ready to deal with exactly what they mean.
Love is not a topic that should be taken lightly and a heart is not a chew toy for the prowling dog. When will this lesson be learnt, once and for all… and without fail?
There are no excuses anymore for why people hurt others. We know better and yet still, the same mistakes are being made, day in and day out.
Love is not as complex as the mind may have us believe… and nor is the heart or its workings. Its simplicity is beautiful, should you stop long enough to really listen to the beating inside a chest or the sparkle from within the eyes. Love is art at its finest and most pure.
If you think you might love someone, do your best to make sure it’s for real and take some time remember what loving someone means…
If you love someone, don’t lie about it… true love discovers all in the end.
If you love someone, always tell the truth… it gives love the chance to stay pure.
If you love someone, please don’t hurt them... it’s never worth it in the end.
If you love someone and you do hurt them… don’t do it again… and if you do, the chances are you don’t really love them after all.
If you love someone, say it out loud… honesty really is the best policy.
If you love someone, don’t play the games you think you’re so cool for playing… games are only fun as long as you have players but a game always ends with just one… and being alone isn’t as cool as it might seem today.
If you love someone, find a way to show it everyday… because one day they may be taken from you without warning.
If you love someone, don’t give in to temptation… what is tempting for you, is torture for the one you love.
If you love someone, think of that person and not only of yourself… the choices you make aren’t only affecting you.
And if you don’t love someone… that same someone you did once love… you’re not the only person this has happened to. - What comes next is sad and painful but has been done a thousand times before… and everyone will be okay with time.
If you have loved someone deeply in the past, and feel a deep love for them still to this day, remember it and know it happened for a reason… we wouldn’t be who we are without our great loves.
Love is a pure and white canvas that should be well kept. When you love and exchange those pretty little words, you’re giving each other a paintbrush with full access to the soul and the chance to make art direct from a beating heart.
The day you find yourself yearning to paint on another’s wall is the day you’ve scribbled your first graffiti on the canvas that lay there first.
Put down the brush and give someone else the chance to paint it white again, because there will always be another artist waiting in the wings for their chance to dream big and love even bigger.
If you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go… and this is to keep the love fair.
Love should never be selfish… and if it is, then it isn’t really love.
And in the end, if you still choose to love… then please… at least do it properly.
A Dangerous Look
What is this look and why exactly is it so damn dangerous?
Trick question though because you all know exactly what I’m talking about.
A dangerous look is ‘THE’ look. The look we have all given… or been given. The one that can make hearts… or break hearts.
It’s the look that can mean more than words and is often the auto green light for passionate yet unreasonable movement of the limbs.
It’s the look perhaps you got from the first person to ever have a crush on you... or that same look you perhaps gave to the new next door neighbour on first sighting.
It’s the look you get when passing someone in the street that happens to catch your eye… or the one you drunkenly give to the packed room of a club while you dance freely to your favourite tunes.
It’s the look you give the person who knows you best and the look they give you right before they kiss you.
It’s the look some of us love to give… and others of us love even more to receive.
That same look that many of us hate… and others of us encourage and embrace.
A ‘dangerous look’ is usually fun though… intentional or not, as it brings with it the mystery of the unknown and the excitement of what is sometimes even frowned upon.
It’s the danger in this look that in fact makes it so appealing… yet is also exactly what forms caution.
And I guess this dangerous look can be almost any look you want it to be, as long as it brings with it the intensity that only the eyes know.
So what do you do with it then?
People choose to do a number of different things with this look. Some use it to their advantage and know exactly how to work it. Others shy away from it for reasons that can vary from intimidation to fear of the end result.
But no matter the way in which a person chooses to use it or not, the key is noticing it’s presence at all.
There’s a distinct difference between a normal look and ‘THE look’ and it’s far too intense and has way too many meanings to be defined so precisely or directly.
But it is a look that I am sure you can relate to and next time you catch the eyes of someone else, stranger or not… and if your heart happens to skip a little beat… you may just be the victim of a dangerous.
Remember though… a little danger never killed anyone. It may actually just be the shake up your life needs.
Trick question though because you all know exactly what I’m talking about.
A dangerous look is ‘THE’ look. The look we have all given… or been given. The one that can make hearts… or break hearts.
It’s the look that can mean more than words and is often the auto green light for passionate yet unreasonable movement of the limbs.
It’s the look perhaps you got from the first person to ever have a crush on you... or that same look you perhaps gave to the new next door neighbour on first sighting.
It’s the look you get when passing someone in the street that happens to catch your eye… or the one you drunkenly give to the packed room of a club while you dance freely to your favourite tunes.
It’s the look you give the person who knows you best and the look they give you right before they kiss you.
It’s the look some of us love to give… and others of us love even more to receive.
That same look that many of us hate… and others of us encourage and embrace.
A ‘dangerous look’ is usually fun though… intentional or not, as it brings with it the mystery of the unknown and the excitement of what is sometimes even frowned upon.
It’s the danger in this look that in fact makes it so appealing… yet is also exactly what forms caution.
And I guess this dangerous look can be almost any look you want it to be, as long as it brings with it the intensity that only the eyes know.
So what do you do with it then?
People choose to do a number of different things with this look. Some use it to their advantage and know exactly how to work it. Others shy away from it for reasons that can vary from intimidation to fear of the end result.
But no matter the way in which a person chooses to use it or not, the key is noticing it’s presence at all.
There’s a distinct difference between a normal look and ‘THE look’ and it’s far too intense and has way too many meanings to be defined so precisely or directly.
But it is a look that I am sure you can relate to and next time you catch the eyes of someone else, stranger or not… and if your heart happens to skip a little beat… you may just be the victim of a dangerous.
Remember though… a little danger never killed anyone. It may actually just be the shake up your life needs.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Love in the City
What do you do when you are in love with a person?
But not the city...
Love is complex... so are cities.
But not the city...
Love is complex... so are cities.
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