Infinitely Lost

I was trapped

For years going back

Wandering halls

As dark as night

The tunnel I could see

In front of me

Lonely hallow 

Lacking light

No end

No evidence

Or proof of relief 

A sign of white

Ready to carry me home

Time kept me stuck

In dreams

I could not shake

Awake 

Whispering loneliness

Enveloping my soul

Voice carrying echos 

And painful calls 

Returning to me

Along empty walls

Bitter boomerang sounds

Drenched in ghostly gowns

Taunting and curling 

A fury of cluttered dust

And still I stood

In ice and time

An empty tin 

Of broken glass

Bound and tied

Without an ounce

A drop of life to catch 

And reel me back in

Dissecting wounds

Gnawing on flesh

The perpetual reminder

Of what would stay

Forever never

And just as I surrender

To the voices that beckon 

The begging retired 

Luring zombies to bed 

I catch a glimpse 

Alive

In the depth 

Of a knight

Peering beyond

Shining shielded armor

Built to barricade 

And house

The frail weed 

Growing and then dying within

Bodiless, lifeless limbs

And like fireflies fly

He lit up the whole sky

And handed a world

Of fairytale dreams

Glistening with hope

Pearled oysters delight

And within him I lay

Stay

Infinitely lost

In eyes

Deepest brown

I've ever known

Behind Orchids Light

I'm going to lose my cool

Let fly from any control

Left circulating through my veins

This place feels wrong

But right

And I have no idea why

Or what to do about it

It's 6:00am 

And the rain is pouring down

Heavy on the tarps

Making a mess of the garbage garden 

Waiting on the other side

Of your bedside box

Barred glass still behind orchids light

I look down at you 

Eyes half closed

And wonder what 

The part that is half open

Can see

Is it me?

Or perhaps your mind is painting 

A picture different to this

Is your body draped here on these 

White sheets

Heavy in a half slumber

Or are you bound

To another

Who weighs heavy on your heart

Stalking the corridors

Of the home we are trying to build

You're right

These insecurities riddle my soul

With disdaining pressure

And the burden of this load

Feels unbearable to court

And yet the statements sweep

Glide like darts through the air

Because it's all I have left

When I know that I 

Have never

And will never 

Be enough