I feel like my world is crushing down around me... and the constant ache in my chest is pounding painfully and with such a force I am unable to control. I'm so lost in this second. So entirely alone and useless. I feel as though I am standing in the biggest field with no hill, or home or sight of land to run towards, to hide behind, to shelter me from the harshness I feel. I need just a moment of ease... a release from the blackness that has me bound. It is like I am paddling frantically in a giant sea of endless water, just waiting for a wave to come and pull me under for good. I'm clinging, and grasping and clawing at the very last threads of my existence and the foundations that construct my core. I am fighting my own mind for a sense of peace and somewhere to belong. I feel like the air is suffocating my breath and I am being drowned out by a body so densely overpowering that the murmur of my gurgling and splattering remains and last attempts at survival in this life are silenced and completely unheard. And the sad thing is... I sit here.... in a pool of my own tears... wondering if I even want to survive at all.
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