"You" - Part 3

I threw it back
Our ball
In that moment I chose to reply
Why did I reply?
I should have kept hold
And walked straight off the court
Ball firmly planted within my grip
Head held high
With my dignity
And a sense of pride
Still in tact
Who am I kidding?
I've never had that
That's never been me
Not my strong point
That's for sure
I never seem to hold the ball
For very long at all
If ever
And undoubtably
By the end of the game
I'm always left standing
Completely alone
I'm like that losing team
The one everyone bets against
Because it's a known fact they'll never
Actually win
The ones that never catch a break
And are the laughing stock
Of all the other players
I'm that kid
The one at the end of a match
Standing amongst the crowd
Politely shaking hands
With the winners
Because their parents
Taught them good manners
My parents did teach me good manners
Perhaps that explains my reply that day
And the events which would unfold
Over the following months
Politeness
That and the pathetically honest heart
People have come to know
I wear like a badge on my sleeve
The one accessory I couldn't possibly
Live without
Your text was unexpected
You wanted to meet up with me
I was surprised
And confused
But what's new?
A battle with myself
One of the infinite kind
Eternal self loathing and doubt
Creeping around
Creating walls within my flesh
I should be used to this by now
"Tomorrow?" you'd asked
"Tomorrow."
I replied