Behind Orchids Light

I'm going to lose my cool

Let fly from any control

Left circulating through my veins

This place feels wrong

But right

And I have no idea why

Or what to do about it

It's 6:00am 

And the rain is pouring down

Heavy on the tarps

Making a mess of the garbage garden 

Waiting on the other side

Of your bedside box

Barred glass still behind orchids light

I look down at you 

Eyes half closed

And wonder what 

The part that is half open

Can see

Is it me?

Or perhaps your mind is painting 

A picture different to this

Is your body draped here on these 

White sheets

Heavy in a half slumber

Or are you bound

To another

Who weighs heavy on your heart

Stalking the corridors

Of the home we are trying to build

You're right

These insecurities riddle my soul

With disdaining pressure

And the burden of this load

Feels unbearable to court

And yet the statements sweep

Glide like darts through the air

Because it's all I have left

When I know that I 

Have never

And will never 

Be enough