And...

It was hard losing you.

And it was hard seeing you again.

And it's still... really hard.

Now Believe In It

"Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want. Everything you want

Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is going to come from... the next smile... the next wish come true.

But if you believe that it's right around the corner and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it... to the certainty of it... you just might get the thing you're wishing for.

The world is full of magic you just have to believe in it, so make your wish.

Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it... with all your heart."

Your Art Matters

It's what got me here.

Of course it would...

Rain.
Tonight.
Of all nights.

Stop it with the act...

Because I've seen it before...

Afterall...

I did help write the script.

Cravings

I crave truth
And
To hear words that are real
With
A vulnerability that is unexplained
Because
Uncertainty is reality
But
Reality is hard to face
When
Outcomes are unknown
But
It has to be better than the act
Because
Throwing it all on the line
With
An unstoppable force
And
An infatuated heart
IS
Truth.

Beautiful, unnerving, honest, raw, emotional, deep, intense, perfect and free truth... of love.

Business

And when it's all said and done
There's no reason for the business call
At all...

I don't need you. I choose you.

I don't need you. I choose you.

This is a sentence I never imagined my mind would be able to compute in this lifetime.

By nature, I am heart, raw emotion and gut instinct. None of these aspects make for a very good decision-maker. And they aren't helpful contributors when it comes to 'choice' which is perhaps why I've never been overly good at making them... choices that is.

I was always the 'needy' girl. The girl who 'without you I won't be able to breathe' which of course to me sounded like the ultimate display of affection and love... and an all-time classic romantic declaration.

Life can't be a fairytale forever though... and this is an idea that shattered me for many years as I evolved from a dramatic 'I wear my heart on my sleeve' teenager into a *gulp* independent and determined adult.

Don't get me wrong, I STILL wear my heart on my sleeve, but these days I realise the extent of the consequences my 'heart-on-sleeve' wearing actions are capable of causing.

That being said... without knowing the raw intensity of a I-need-to-feel-your-heartbeat-against-my-chest-to-survive passion and love, I would not be the person I am today.

As we get older, it's not as easy or fair to act out of instinct. It is not as appropriate to say what is in your heart, or act on your stomach's guidance in the same way you once would have.

It is no longer 'I need you' but 'I choose you' and if I'm honest, I am still in the process of accepting this concept.... because man do I miss 'I need you'.

I've had 'I need you' in my life and the depth of that passion is never-ending. And as I discovered very early on in life... it is better to have loved (truly loved) and lost than to have never loved at all.

I feel it's the same with the 'need' vs the 'choice'. Without ever knowing the 'need' it would be impossible to really learn to 'choose'.

Thank you for letting me 'need' to breath that love. It taught me everything I know.

*draft*

Are we really two people
Who don't know each other at all?
Because I'd always thought
You would be the one
Who secretly knew
Every single inch

And then I thought
We would lock our secret away
In a box covered in memories
Filled with more of the same
And hide it in a place
Where only you and I know

Yet the journey had to take place
For each a different road
But the knowledge of the safe
Hiding high up on the shelf
Was a constant reminder
Of the intensity that is felt

When two people know
Every single inch
Without knowing at all
Why their two hearts were picked
To be connected
Forever and always

So tell me...
Have you really forgotten it all?
Or do you indeed...
Know every single inch
As I see it in my dreams?

No Need For Anything More

I don't need to tell you
And you don't need to tell me
Because you know that I know
And I know that you know
Because that's who we always were
And who we'll always be

...

we never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up....

From the first time that I saw you...

I met you
And fell crazy in love
So much that it hurt
You stole the spot
The only place in my heart
So I held on for dear life

Now I've put you in a box
To keep that love safe
And remember it
Forever and always
Because that part of me
Is yours to keep

You. Always.

You always appear when my mind wishes you to.